Little Rotted Remnants

I'm standing on the edge
of annoying repetition
of subliminal minds
and magic fiction.
I see it in your eyes,
this tragic kingdom.
You're being dumb
aggravating
frustrating
figment of imagination.

I'm standing here
just letting my brain cells rot away.
Wondering how my life today
will effect my future,
my past,
if all appears retarded
like a big kid who just farted
and shat on my dreams.
Pissing me off
whilst wetting the sheets.

This repetition
is wearing me thin.
This monolithic
battery is sin.
I'm aggravated
frustrated,
An irritation nation.

I feel violated
when you tell me these things
because it breaks my heart.
I want it to never begin,
so please just hold it- and
cram it to a mold.
Oh please just hold it,
and just bleed me cold
and dry.

You crammed philosophy
into my veins
with a small needle.
Oh how a shame
it be.

I don't like your pressure
to have sex with you.
It pisses me off
because I'm not ready too.
I want you to walk off
masturbate
just leave me alone to hate.

Der
Tag
Pisst
mich
auf.

Teenager Confession 001

I am the person with the smile on their face.
I am the person who always offers to make plate loads of food so that you're full and content.
I am the person who is full and can't eat a bite, but wants you to enjoy your food.
I am the person who watches you all enjoying yourself, whilst I'm chuckling.
I am the person who has a few pieces of lettuce and drinks water daily.
I am the person ready to go to the gym and work out with you.
I am the person who will push the furthest in my goal, and I will not stop.
I am the person who will not stop when I sweat.
I am the person who will slowly pack up their bag and walk to the shower.
I am the person who, with every step taken to the shower, looses their smile.
I am the person who enters the shower with a feeling of discontent.
I am the person who feels an argument brewing in their head.
I am the person who slowly drives home and slowly feels sadder with every mile.
I am the person who enters the doorway alone, with no one suspecting a thing.
I am the person who climbs the stairs and grabs the brown extension cord on the floor.
I am the person who turns on the light in the bath room and looks up in the mirror at myself.
I am the person who punches out the mirror and watches the blood poor from their hand.
I am the person who slowly bends over the toilet.
I am the person who bundles the cord and inches it ever so slowly down their throat.
I am the person who thrusts the cord back and forth, feeling all the pain.
I am the person who vomits the remnants of the nothing I've become.
I am the person who feels the pain and burning from the acid eating me inside out.
I am the person who doesn't get up until they feel thin.
I am the person who tells themselves they're a fat fucking pig.
I am the person who will push the furthest in their goal.
I am the person who can not stand him/herself.
I am the person with the most imperfections.
I am the failure.
I am the person who will take that cord one day, after slitting their wrist, and hang.
I am my ending.
I am me.
Someone please help me.