Teenager Confession 003

You taught me how to breathe.
You taught me how to eat.
You taught me how to crawl.
You taught me how to fall.
You taught me how to step.
You taught me how to walk.
I learned it all from you.

You taught me how to talk.
You taught me how to stop.
You taught me how to dress.
You taught me how to bathe.
You taught me how to care.
You taught me how to cry.
I learned it all from you.

You taught me how to hate.
You taught me how to love.
You taught me how to drink
You taught me how to hurt.
You taught me how to cause pain
You taught me how to blame.
I learned it all from you.

You taught me how to abuse.
You taught me how to harm.
You taught me how to abandon.
You taught me how to swarm.
You taught me how to die.
I leanred it all from you.

I learned how to hate myself.
I learned how to cut myself.
I learned how to abuse myself.
I learned how to accuse myself.
I learned how to hit the ground
I learned how to hit bottom.
I learned it all from you.

Thank you for all you taught me.
I learned it all from you

Teenager Confession 002

Welcome to the depths of my mind.
Welcome to the center of it all.
Welcome to the place in which scholarly thoughts occur.
Welcome to the place in which immense decisions occur.
Welcome to the location of where mood changes occur like scenes in a movie.
Welcome to the place of learned experiences, of memory, and depth perception.
Welcome to the place where everything is different now.

Welcome to the place where now my mood is yellow and bright.
And come with me as we observe it going through various parts of my head.
The yellow is being tainted with colors of green and black
and red.
Welcome to the place where the only trace of yellow
is the desecrated being below us.
Watch my mood as it goes through the muck of brown.
It has entered an area of excuse,
of lies.

Of all the things in life I wanted,
I never wanted this.
I never asked for this.
Welcome to the place of never ending thoughts
and feelings
that there is nothing left in the world
accept for me to watch people die
and for everyone to quit on me.
I never asked for this.
I never asked for this.

I can't have one day
where I can think no darkness.
There will be no day
where I can tell my brain to make me smile.
There will be a cold day in hell
when I will be able to be me again.

I want to thank you for this.
Without you, none of this could have been possible.
Without you, I could have never had the misery I do now.
Without your days of addictions,
Without your days of bitterness,
Without your days of abandonment and torment,
I could never have any of this.
Thank you.

Welcome to the place that you create it.
I like to call it "Me".

Wake up

Hello, can anyone hear me?
I'm not in hiding anymore.
Haha, I'm not depressed for once
and I feel that I'm getting a chance to breathe.

Hello, can anyone hear me?
I'm not depressed
so I won't be your bore.
Please don't leave me here.

I'm so sorry that I left
you all in mystery
and fear
when I had that drink to my lips.

I'm sorry that I had those days
where I pushed you all away
and Ignored the love you shown
so dearly.

Hello, can anyone hear me?
It's not just another day,
today I feel like I did
when I knew nothing about pain.

I feel exicted again.
I feel like I could breathe again.
Hello, please someone come out.
Olly olly oxen free.

Please, someone.
I'm getting help
someone to predict my storms
and help me prepare for the worst

so that my depression
doesn't last
and I can take my life
back over again.

Hello, can anyone hear me?
Can anyone feel me?
I'm alive again.
People I'm back.

"The number you have dialed
is busy
please hang up
and try your call again."

The Drums Have Died

Where has all the thunder gone?
The lightning's disappeared.
The roar that goes to complete the storm,
has not been seen or heard.

The rain brings disappointment
cause when I hear drops fall-
My mind is telling me to mourn
for thunder, there's none at all.

For nights like this, I long to hear
the thunder's roaring sound.
To see the flash strike past my window
and to see lightning hit ground.

These drums have died.
The area's clear
The death
consoles the fearing.

But for those who
long to hear the sound
will mourn
it's history.